New Year’s Eve is approaching fast, and if you are looking to set a goal of living your best life in 2019, then it’s time for you to give up on a number of things.
Take a minute or two and think about the stress that you are carrying around for months (or worst, years), the circumstances and emotional issues in life that burden you.
You might be engaged in a toxic relationship, stuck on past regrets and old wounds, or feeling guilt for past mistakes, but the new year always gives you a clean slate. It is all up to you to make the best out of it.
While writing resolutions for 2019, most of the people make a list of to-do things that will make them happy. But apart from this list, you also need to create a list of not-to-do things for a happy 2019.
Having said that, following are the 13 main things to give up on in 2019:
1. Regretting the past
The past has gone, and it wouldn’t change no matter how much you think about it.
There might be things you could do differently, a big opportunity that you missed, or any other regret that you are still holding on to. If you continue to hold on to these things, it will impact your future and wouldn’t allow you to move forward in life.
When you feel that past regrets are taking a toll on you, force yourself into doing productive things like following a hobby like gardening, setting up a website or blog related to something that you love or learning a new activity – a new language or a new game.
If you are suffering a lot because of past incidents, then consider a visit to a professional counselor. Work on it, for yourself, and for the ones who love you.
“A Warrior of the Light has no regrets, because regrets can kill.” —Paulo Coelho
2. Comparing yourself with others
Comparing yourself with others will either make you feel inferior or jealous.
You easily start feeling bad about yourself, just by seeing adorable relationships of others, the money they have, or just by their ability to look good in photos.
Studies show that people are increasingly comparing themselves with others on social media profiles. They are trying to present their best version on the internet, whether that comes from using any photo editing application, buying new clothes, or eating in expensive restaurants. What this shows is that the comparisons are based in virtual life, rather than in real-life.
As the famous saying goes, “Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” Until you get to the other side.
So, seek your own goals, get the best out of yourself, and stop comparing yourself with others.
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” —Iyanla Vanzant
3. Social media addiction
A research by Journal of Social Science & Medicine finds that around 44% of youth (aged between 19 to 32) are having problematic social media habits. Too much use of social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter causes depression, bipolar disorder, lower self-esteem, and other mental disorders.
In 2019, you have to get rid of this addiction. It doesn’t mean that you have to deactivate all your accounts. What you need to do is to set a separate time for checking out social media. It’s also important to consider the people you are following and how the content impacts you.
“Less scrolling. More moving.”
Overthinking is a soul-sucking habit that kills your happiness and joy. No amount of overthinking and the suffering that follows will help you. So, take a breath and calm down.
Involve yourself in physical activities such as jogging, yoga, swimming, and meditation.
“Stop overthinking. You’re creating problems that aren’t even there.”
5. Pleasing everyone
No doubt, you want your friends and loved ones to be happy with you. But if you try to make all of them happy, you will end up being unhappy with yourself.
You can’t please everyone. You’re not Office 365.
“If you live to please others, everybody will love you except yourself.” —Paulo Coelho
Sometimes, you are your own worst enemy. You allow a lot of opportunities to slip through your fingers when you tell yourself that you are not good-looking, smart, funny, or think that you are not good enough to get what you want in life.
Rather than thinking what if I failed after giving my best, ask yourself what’s the best that can happen if you succeed. Believe in yourself.
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” — Denis Waitley
If you go on to find the excuses of successful people, a common thing will come out: They don’t make any. What they do is make their choices and take responsibility of outcomes.
However, most of the people are stuck in— I am too busy. I am too old. I am broken. And so on. The people who really want to do a thing, don’t make excuses. They just do it. It’s time to be true to your own self.
“If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
8. Fake/Toxic relationships
Just like good relationships can make you happy, the toxic and fake ones can cause misery.
If you see signs of disrespect, lack of support, ignorance, or any such behavior, that make you feel exhausted or depressed, then it’s time for you to give up on such relationships.
“If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” —Paulo Coelho
A research by University College of London finds that the secret of being happy is low expectations.
Things and people can’t always be the way you expect them to be. Keep your expectations low for a happier life.
“No expectations. No disappointments.”
10. Chasing people
Stop chasing people. You have to understand that you are here, and you are important. You don’t have to run after people to prove that you matter.
There are people in your life whom you give all your attention and time, but you don’t get the same in return. Never chase love, affection or attention. If it’s not given freely by another person, it’s not worth having.
“They are not too busy. They simply are not too interested as much as you are.”
11. Snooze button
Pushing that snooze button on your alarm not only wastes your precious morning time, but also negatively impacts your mind and body.
This can make you feel more tired the entire day. Set small goals for yourself every day with tight deadliness to get over that snooze button.
“’Seize the day’, rather than ‘snooze the day’.”
12. Unhealthy food
Consumption of unhealthy and junk food affects digestion and causes fat. Avoid eating unhealthy food or reduce it to look and feel better.
“You are what you eat.”
13. Not balancing work and life
With the advent of technology, the work-life balance is getting obstructed. A survey by Harvard Business School indicates that 94% of people work over 50 hours a week, and around 50% of them work more than 65 hours a week.
Most of the working pros are struggling between workloads and managing relationships. They are even cutting out their own interests. That is the reason 1 in 4 people in America define themselves as ‘super stressed’.
“Never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.” —Dolly Parton
Suggested reading: 4 relevant life lessons from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
2019, the new year, is coming with a clean slate. Before you start writing on it, ensure that your heart is not compromising to make things work, your mind is clear, and nothing is pulling you back from doing what you are going to do. Learning to give up on certain things is the first step in right direction.
And yes, don’t forget—You are awesome. You can do this!
Which of these things you are looking to let go of this new year? Let us know in the comments below.